Things i would change if i was a dictator
Now i'm not talking about serious social and political issues, well all know governments have nothing to do with that sort of thing.
The government is actually implemented in order to further the personal prejudices of its highest members and most generous monetary contributors (lobbyists)
Anyway
Generally i'm not one who is irked by inane trends and the like...they generally don't impact my life in anyway and there are many more serious things worth whining about.
However there are those times when a less serious perspective be taken.
So in the spirit of making social decisions based on personal bias (i'm looking at you Johnny) here are some things i would change if it was my political party that had claimed complete control of the senate.
First: I would outlaw faux hawks. In recent years this idiotic carefully constructed bed head has taken over the majority of uber with it urban areas and various Westfield shopping centres.
Now what is really curious about this is that it's been a fad for going on 5 years now...
The hairstyle is popular among fashion-challenged people of any gender in the Western world, and is considered to be a fad.
It is found in all different styles and is common among female cocaine hoovers/runway models.
It began in Europe and was made popular by footballer David Beckham, Actions In Objects keyboardist, Jordan Stein and musician Matthew Thomas.
It has since been adopted by mindless drones everywhere and has formed the basis for the mold of the modern metrosexual.
I feel this to be a great threat to a national security and as such i think we need to increase defence spending via implementing a crack team of specialists armed with clippers and a a white glove.
Any person found sporting a faux hawk after Dec 25 2006 shall be shaved and slapped in the face for stupidity.
There have been some concerns expressed regarding the possibility of a merka esque faux wig black market currently being formed in the underground scene (See: minimal tech, krunk, eski beat and ironic nostalgic interests)
Wearing a merka as a faux hawke will be an offence punishable by death..anyone caught with a real faux hawk willl be sent to Mt Druitt for reboganation.
Those caught wearing stupidly large Chanel sunglasses will be subjected to the same treatment.
Second: 4wds on the road.
Seriously if you're so afraid of driving you have to put yourself in a urban tank just to go from tennis to pick up Billy from his private tutoring session you shouldn't be on the damn road to begin with...
What the hell do you need a four foot bull bar for in the city anyway?
Oh it makes you feel safer?
If i bought you a bomb shelter would you stay in that?
Thirdly: I'd ban all cooking/renovation/kickstartapawnscareer/fixsocialprblemsonefamilydogatatime reality shows...
They serve no constructive purpose and they intentionally seek out the most irritating hosts they can find, no doubt a dastardly ploy to keep the audience watching in hopes one of the contestants snaps and smacks the host with whatever implemenet they may be holding at the time.
Fourth: I'd ban organised religion, period.
Or at least the evocation of Gods for some political cause....like oil.
"With God on our side we will prevail" is no different to "praise Allah"
Fuck that
Even if one of those two were God i don't think He, or She, would want people running round blowing the shit out of each other in His or Her name.
There is only one true God and his name is Grimlock.
He supports my cause and approves of me destroying various sandy areas.
lastly: i'd ban people from wearing massive headphones whilst listening to their ipod.
You look stupid.
Stop it.
Good day.
The government is actually implemented in order to further the personal prejudices of its highest members and most generous monetary contributors (lobbyists)
Anyway
Generally i'm not one who is irked by inane trends and the like...they generally don't impact my life in anyway and there are many more serious things worth whining about.
However there are those times when a less serious perspective be taken.
So in the spirit of making social decisions based on personal bias (i'm looking at you Johnny) here are some things i would change if it was my political party that had claimed complete control of the senate.
First: I would outlaw faux hawks. In recent years this idiotic carefully constructed bed head has taken over the majority of uber with it urban areas and various Westfield shopping centres.
faux means fake yo
Now what is really curious about this is that it's been a fad for going on 5 years now...
The hairstyle is popular among fashion-challenged people of any gender in the Western world, and is considered to be a fad.
It is found in all different styles and is common among female cocaine hoovers/runway models.
It began in Europe and was made popular by footballer David Beckham, Actions In Objects keyboardist, Jordan Stein and musician Matthew Thomas.
I feel this to be a great threat to a national security and as such i think we need to increase defence spending via implementing a crack team of specialists armed with clippers and a a white glove.
Any person found sporting a faux hawk after Dec 25 2006 shall be shaved and slapped in the face for stupidity.
There have been some concerns expressed regarding the possibility of a merka esque faux wig black market currently being formed in the underground scene (See: minimal tech, krunk, eski beat and ironic nostalgic interests)
Wearing a merka as a faux hawke will be an offence punishable by death..anyone caught with a real faux hawk willl be sent to Mt Druitt for reboganation.
Those caught wearing stupidly large Chanel sunglasses will be subjected to the same treatment.
Second: 4wds on the road.
Seriously if you're so afraid of driving you have to put yourself in a urban tank just to go from tennis to pick up Billy from his private tutoring session you shouldn't be on the damn road to begin with...
What the hell do you need a four foot bull bar for in the city anyway?
Oh it makes you feel safer?
If i bought you a bomb shelter would you stay in that?
Thirdly: I'd ban all cooking/renovation/kickstartapawnscareer/fixsocialprblemsonefamilydogatatime reality shows...
They serve no constructive purpose and they intentionally seek out the most irritating hosts they can find, no doubt a dastardly ploy to keep the audience watching in hopes one of the contestants snaps and smacks the host with whatever implemenet they may be holding at the time.
Fourth: I'd ban organised religion, period.
Or at least the evocation of Gods for some political cause....like oil.
"With God on our side we will prevail" is no different to "praise Allah"
Fuck that
Even if one of those two were God i don't think He, or She, would want people running round blowing the shit out of each other in His or Her name.
There is only one true God and his name is Grimlock.
He supports my cause and approves of me destroying various sandy areas.
lastly: i'd ban people from wearing massive headphones whilst listening to their ipod.
You look stupid.
Stop it.
Good day.
Celebrity Obsession
It's issues like these that we really need to focus on if we are serious about creating a better world.
I especially agree with Banning Organised Religion and 4WDs. Hate hate hate them both.
Some things I'd add to the mix would be:
- I'd add Currennt Affairs shows like like Today Tonight and A Current Affair to your list of banned tv shows. All they do is give a voice to bogans with the IQ of yogurt, and old people who think the youth of today have it too easy. Piss off Naomi Robson and Tracy Grimshaw.
- Mariah Carey - she's got to go. Why is that she always has to prove that she has an 8 octave vocal range in every song. Your songs are crap, and singing at a pitch that sets of every dog in the neighbourhood does not distract from that.
- Boys who wear their jeans so loose that they belt it around the bottom of their butt and have all their underwear showing. Unless you're a Calvin Klein model I don't give a shit about your skidmarked underwear. You look like Kevin Federline.....and the man is not a style icon. Dress properly.
I have many more, but I think these are my priorities.
KylieW